Cancer is evil

     Today I took my dad to his oncologist to get some fluids because he is super weak and losing a lot of weight and a shot because his white blood count is low and I had a breakdown. As I dropped him off at the front door, I watched his scrawny self struggle to walk to the front door. He walks so slow and it takes so much out of him. I can see his shoulder blades poking out of his shirt. I watch him slowly walk to the front door as he holds his, too big for him now, pants up because we can't afford new clothes right now. Within seconds, I burst out into tears.

     No one deserves to get cancer but especially not my dad. He was never a drinker, he was never a smoker, rarely got sick and was only in the hospital once his entire life. Now, since January he has been admitted into the hospital four times so far. With blood transfusions, dehydration, nausea, and vomiting, my Dad does not deserve this. A man who has always put everyone first his whole life and still does now. A man who would do anything to make you laugh/smile. A man who has already struggled financially his whole life because he helps out others. So, why him? I just don't get why he has to go through this.

     I could probably ask so many more questions and say so many more reasons on why he doesn't deserve this but it won't change the fact that I hate cancer and it is evil!

A bear that was given to him at chemo from a foundation here in town

Just some of the cards he has received. He is loved by all. Such a great man, my hero, my dad. 

Can't sleep

     I found out last week that my Dad's colon cancer may have spread to his liver. They found a few lesions on his liver from a CT scan they did and even though we are praying they are random cysts, we all know there is a very good chance it is cancer. I have been so positive these past few months since he had his PET scan back in February showing his cancer didn't spread. I never realized the evil son of a bitch named cancer could spread so quickly while undergoing chemo. I can't sleep right now knowing in several hours I will be the one with my Dad potentially receiving more bad news. It breaks my heart to see my Dad, my best friend, my hero, someone so kindhearted  going through something so awful. It makes me sick to my stomach, over and over again to feel this helpless, knowing there isn't a damn thing I can do to make him feel or be 100% back to his normal self. Any and ALL prayers are welcome and very much appreciated.