NN2uex2hLTE-6AzWK4OLi2XPdEc Don't judge me: I'm Thankful

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I'm Thankful

This year has been very rough on me and my family but I still have a lot to be thankful for.
My mom was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and even though she is living on oxygen and has a lot of  other health issues she is dealing with, I still have her around to talk to everyday and I am thankful for that. 

My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer and that is one of the hardest things I have been through in my life. He went through hell but he beat cancer and I am thankful for that.

Since I was my parents main caregiver and financial support system, I lost my car and that was embarrassing and painful. Cars are replaceable though. I still have an older car that is paid off that is still running and I am thankful for that.

We can't afford to buy Christmas presents this year and I know that really hurts my parents because this is the first year they won't be able to. I explained to them that we are all adults now and we understand that it isn't possible. We are thankful that we have each other to spend the Holidays with, even if it may be in the hospital.

I know I haven't technically lost her, but I feel like I have lost my best friend. The person that was always there for me the past 7 years when my other friends weren't or couldn't be, moved away. I know she is still there for me but it still makes me sad knowing I can't see her whenever I want to. She is still one of my best friends and I am glad she is still there for me, even if it isn't in person, and I am thankful for that.

I have two other friends that I was close to over the years off and on and we have rekindled our friendship this year and it has definitely helped me through these past few months. If they weren't there for me, I don't know how I would have got through it. I am glad I have the few friends I have and I am thankful for them.

My sister and boyfriend have helped me mentally through this year.
 My sister with making me laugh and just being there for me in person. My boyfriend for calming me down when I always need someone to talk to. They both mean the world to me and I am thankful for them. 

Even though you have a crappy year and you don't think you can make it, there will always be someone there to help you through it. Even though there are days I feel like I am alone and I become bitter towards everyone and everything, at the end of the day, I am thankful for my friends, family, and life itself. I have had a lot put on me this year and it is normal to have little mental breakdowns here and there. It is the way I deal with a stress overload. Just because I am thankful for all of these things, doesn't mean I won't struggle here and there to accept why all this had to happen. I think too much and try to understand everything and I will never have an answer to my questions but this is my own battle and I will be okay. I wrote this post to hopefully help cope with this year and to try to move on. It brings me down too often and I don't like it one bit but this is a process and things will get better. 
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  1. Keep your head of beautiful girl. God is watching and he sees your struggles and your strengths. He will reward you for all your selflessness.


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